Parenting while working through our own brokenness can feel overwhelming. But what if we could anchor our parenting in joy? On the latest episode of the *Only Love Today* podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Chris Coursey, co-author of *The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids*. Chris has spent decades developing brain-based solutions to help families thrive, and he shares practical, faith-filled insights that every parent can apply to their parenting to create more joy for themselves and their kids.
If you’re a parent longing to cultivate a joyful home, this conversation is for you. Below, I’ve highlighted key takeaways from our discussion. For the full conversation, make sure to listen to the podcast—you won’t want to miss it!
Understanding Joy: A Foundation for Parenting
Chris Coursey’s journey into studying joy began with a spark of insight: “When I heard Dr. Jim Wilder talking about how the brain runs on the fuel of ‘glad to be together’ joy, it lit a spark in me,” he shared. “It explained my life, my church, and my family.”
This concept—that joy is not just a feeling but a relational skill—is central to Chris’s work. Joy fuels healthy relationships, helps us navigate tough emotions, and strengthens family bonds. And the good news? Joy is something we can learn and grow, no matter where we’re starting from.
The 4 Habits for Raising Joy-Filled Kids
In his book, Chris outlines four habits that can help parents foster joy in their children:
1. Attune: Sharing Emotions
“When we attune, we teach our kids they’re not alone,” Chris explained. This means truly listening to your child’s emotions without rushing to fix or dismiss them. Reflect back what you hear and let them know, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you.”
2. Build Bounce: Teaching Emotional Recovery
Building bounce is about helping children return to joy after big emotions. “We validate their feelings and offer comfort,” Chris said. “Over time, they learn that upset doesn’t have the final word.” This might involve telling stories of times when you’ve navigated tough emotions and found your way back to joy.
3. Correct with Care: Keeping Relationships Bigger than Problems
“Correction shouldn’t leave kids feeling alone or ashamed,” Chris emphasized. Instead, focus on behaviors and identity statements: “We are a family who is gentle and kind. That behavior doesn’t reflect who God made you to be.”
4. Develop Disciplines Relationally: Practicing Joy Daily
Joy grows through consistent, intentional practice. Chris recommends simple exercises like quieting (taking a few minutes to rest and breathe) and sharing gratitude. “A little bit of joy goes a long way,” he said.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Joy Today
If you’re feeling stuck in low joy, here’s where Chris suggests starting:
Quiet and Rest: Take three minutes to breathe deeply and let your mind settle.
Practice Gratitude: Reflect on three highlights from your day, three things you appreciate about someone else, and three things you appreciate about God.
Share Stories: At the dinner table or during bedtime, share stories of joy and moments when you’ve returned to peace after challenges.
“Joy is relational,” Chris reminded us.
“It’s about being glad to be together, even in hard moments.”
Why Joy Matters
Chris’s insights are grounded not just in brain science but also in Scripture. “Joy gives us strength to suffer well and grow,” he said. In a world that often amplifies fear, building a home that amplifies joy can be a game-changer for our families. As Christians we know that joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Just like the other fruits of the Spirit take time to cultivate and practice, joy, too, is something we can train our brain to focus on building.
Listen Now
For more on how to apply these habits and build a joy-filled home, tune into the full conversation on the *Only Love Today* podcast. You’ll hear practical tips, powerful stories, and encouragement to parent with joy, even on the hard days.
Note: This blog post was written with the assistance of AI
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