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  • Writer's pictureMegan Estes

Mucking Through A Monday to Learn That We All Need Jesus

I thought that waking up to an immaculate house and primed homeschool schedule set before me would pave a path for a day of success to flow in every way. Turns out that a different day was gifted to me!

We all need Jesus on Mondays

Sick babies who don't want to do anything but be held is hard on a normal day, but when you are homeschooling and have more than one kiddo that needs you in varying ways, every moment can be overwhelming! Older kids needed more help than I could give at the moment with their school work. (I hate that I can't multiply myself and meet everyone's needs). A family of ants decided to move in by our laundry room by the door that goes out to the garage. Also, I realized after the fact that an overnight diaper had made its way into the washing machine and exploded with all those little gel beads covering everything! Oh, and I started having dizziness and vertigo again. Yay me.

How the heck am I supposed to care for these little blessings when I can't even find the time to get changed out of pajamas? Everyone has so many needs...little emergencies happening everywhere I look--baby needs cuddled, preschooler needs a playmate, elementary student has math questions, and the junior higher needs one on one tutoring. Jesus please come back!

We all need Jesus because He saves

I Can't Give My Family What They Need

First, I must accept this truth: there is only one person that can truly give my family what they NEED, and that's the person of Jesus Christ our Savior. Yes, in the middle of all the chaos of ants, schoolwork, dizziness, and motherhood in general...I/we need Christ more than anything. I'm learning that the "felt needs" I have are often "wants." I "want" my laundry room to be spotless and void of ants--but that's not a genuine "need." I "want" my kids to be able to do their math on their own, but that's not a "need." I "want" to not have dizziness and vertigo again, but that's not a "need." Really, Lord? Then what ARE my needs??? My greatest need next to safety, shelter, and sustenance is Christ. Jesus says that HE is the bread of life and has living water to offer us. (John 6:35, "Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.) Yes, my earthly body has earthly needs. However, my spiritual body has needs that this earth cannot meet.

My kids need me to pursue Jesus because we all need Jesus

My Family Needs Me to Be Fully Chasing After Jesus-DUH!

This last Monday had so many felt needs, and also true emergency level needs--like I'm the only one that can currently feed our baby when he needs fed, so everything and everyone else has to wait. However, the other little emergencies I saw taking place actually required something from me that I was not prepared to give. I realized in my pity party that Monday morning that I was chasing after the things of this world rather than Christ. I wanted to feel strong, well rested, neat, clean, and organized in order to give my all to my kids. Unfortunately, I didn't feel this way. I quickly began to spiral in my actions because the priorities of my heart had changed. I wanted tasks complete. I withheld offering my best for my kids because I was not chasing Christ that morning. I almost missed out completely on what the day had to offer because it wasn't the type of day I thought I deserved. Whoa. Deserved? There it is, the root of my problems--pride. I had fallen off the train of self discipline in my pursuit of Christ that morning and let the "emergencies" and "felt needs" take over. I was not prepared to give His words to my kids, praise, or grace because I had turned my eyes toward self.

Clean out your mind to focus on Jesus

Muck Out The Stalls Of Your Mind To Allow His Spirit to Reign

What I really needed that Monday was to change my mind. I woke up with great intentions but did not follow through in my mind or body with what I KNOW is priority.

I missed out on these things:

#1. God's Word

I neglected to feast on truth and have His Word fresh in my mind. When I do this first before anything else, I catch a glimpse of the bigger picture. Behind all the little emergencies happening around me are hearts that need to know their savior more than anything--not a math lesson that needs finished or room that needs cleaned, those are lower level things. Upper level living sees the big picture in God's Kingdom--I needed a mouth full of praise in that moment. But I chose a pity party.

#2. Grace Flowing Through

I slipped back into the perfectionist mindset and rejected the grace He so freely offers. I was hard on myself and felt like a failure. Thus, there was not a river of grace flowing through this mama onto her children. There was just "mehness". You know, the kind of mom you are in your pity party moments? My kids deserved better. Instead of getting back up and turning the day over to the Lord with praise and thanksgiving I put on my pout-pout face. It took longer to get out of that mood than I care to admit. The reality was that we had just had several weeks of hard things to work through and I was worn out. So this day wasn't just hard in and of itself, it was a trying day ON TOP OF surviving some very hard weeks prior. I needed to remember the reality of what we'd just walked through and be gracious to myself and others.

#3. The Gift of "Slow"

Instead of accepting that this Monday was going to be different and humbly wading through the muck, I kinda quit. I missed out on setting a tone of "slowness" and patience for the day. It's such a gift to homeschool kids and let them pace themselves and not be rushed. There's value and humility in receiving the day the Lord has made, just as it is. In my pride I rejected it, and because it wasn't what I wanted I emotionally tapped out. I missed the opportunity to engage with the gift of "slow" that morning.

Looking back to last week, I can remember having some joyful moments on that Monday. Once I got over myself, my pride, and the reality of my lack of control I was able to engage. I just wish it had happened faster. Flipping those thoughts from pity party to praise takes practice, and often time. Everyone has a Monday to "muck" through once in awhile. Instead of quitting or being discouraged I pray that we can remember the big picture and ask the Lord to help us "whistle while we work." I'm sorry Jesus for my pout-pout face and I pray that you would be gracious to me and remind me with a sign in those pity party moments that I already HAVE everything I need. I just need to remember to turn to you and receive.

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